What’s keeping the parents
of 21st Century teens
awake at night?

Sex... The Internet... Body Piercing... Drugs... Peer Pressure... Bullying... Underachievement... Pregnancy... Eating disorders... HIV... Learning Disabilities... Date Rape... Binge Drinking...






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Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D.

With the secrecy of adolescence, many parents worry that their child could become a statistic in one of numerous newspaper or magazine accounts of troubled teens. They cannot help but wonder what their own teenagers are really doing when they are not at home. Are they doing okay in school and are they well accepted by their peers? How are they handling pressure to drink, do drugs, and have sex? Do they have enough self-esteem? Parents struggle with how to encourage appropriate independence, yet at the same time protect their teens and pick up on signs of trouble. In this new world, parenting is more challenging than ever.

Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler, a clinical psychologist specializing in the issues of adolescents, and the mother of two teenagers herself, helps mothers and fathers to feel knowledgeable, confident, and empowered in guiding their teenagers. She demonstrates how parents can prevent many problems by building strong parent-teen relationships that encourage adolescents to communicate honestly, adopt family values, and learn to make smart decisions on their own. Although parents often avoid discussions about serious topics because they aren't sure how to bring them up or fear their teenagers won't listen, research consistently shows that children look for their parents’ input and advice to make their most important life decisions. So what should parents say, and how should they say it?

With so much influence from the media and culture, parents need to start by learning what life is like for their teenager. Based on her two critically acclaimed and highly successful books, “I’M NOT MAD, I JUST HATE YOU!” A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict and “TRUST ME, MOM-EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING!” The New Rules for Mothering Adolescent Girls (Viking Books), Dr. Cohen-Sandler brings parents and teachers up to speed on the issues facing today’s teens. Most important, she uses reassuring information, case studies from 25 years of clinical practice, and psychologically sound, sensible advice to help parents navigate the sometimes-rocky terrain of teenagedom.

Appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Today, Good Morning America and The Early Show, serving as a Contributing Editor to Girls' Life magazine, and regularly interviewed for national magazines such as Seventeen, The Boston Globe and The Chicago Tribune, Dr. Cohen-Sandler is sought after for her sane voice and practical strategies for staying connected during the sometimes chaotic and explosive teenage years.

For parents of teenagers, Dr. Cohen-Sandler speaks on the following topics:

  • Use Your BRAIN: Being flexible, Respectful, Attuned, Involved and Noncontrolling a five-step approach that builds the skills and insights necessary for developing close, trusting relationships with teens.
  • Learning to Talk, Again: Using everyday (and extraordinary) situations as a springboard for discussions with teen girls and boys about fundamental expectations for healthy friendships, boundaries, responsibility, personal values, and more.
  • Truth and Consequences: Disciplining teenagers effectively with advice from teens on which approaches work best and which are frustrating, alienating and counterproductive.
  • Queens of Mean: Understanding aggression and helping teenage girls develop healthy peer relationships.
  • We Just Want Her to Be Happy: Understanding the pressure to please and achieve that today’s teens face and way to help them deal with the stress.
  • Who Are You?: Sound strategies for helping teenage girls develop strong identities and self-esteem.
  • The Parent-Teacher Team: What every educator and parent should know about what teenage girls need emotionally to succeed.

Consider these statistics:

  • 6.6% of American children begin their sex lives before age 13; more than 60% by the time they reach 12th grade (Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2001).
  • Among high school students surveyed in 2001, 9.2% of 12th graders, 6.2% of 10th graders, and 3.5% of 8th graders stated that they had used MDMA (Ecstasy) in the past year (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2001).
  • 86% of teenage girls are, or think they should be dieting (Fat Talk, Harvard University Press, 2000).
  • Anxiety disorders affect an estimated 13% of children and adolescents during any given six-month period. The disorders are often not recognized, and most who have them do not receive treatment (National Institutes of Mental Health, 2001).
  • 26% of 7th-12th graders have seen, carried or used a weapon against someone, with one in four students feeling personally endangered by violence at school (American Journal of Public Health, 2000).

Audience Response

Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler brings in-depth knowledge, sensitivity and understanding to every speaking engagement. Parent reaction often includes the following: real strategies to use, helpful insight into mother-daughter relationships, good points on raising strong daughters, well-organized lecture, helpful tips on parenting, excellent aid to understanding daughter’s thought process, wonderful, very clear presentation, a breath of fresh air, and very valuable information and support for parents.

Letters of thanks for Roni Cohen-Sandler include:

I can’t tell you how many compliments you received on your presentation. . .from both mothers and girls. One mother told me that she had such high regard for your advice that she wanted to ask about her 13-year-old son as well.
-A.T., Baldwin School

Brava! And huzzahs tuned to forty thousand decibels for your generous gift of time and considerable expertise shared with the faculty and staff during your workshop. Your presentation rated top marks by all those who heard you.
-P.E., Northwestern University

Thank you for speaking at our General Parent Council Meeting. . .you were poised, informative, practical, humorous, and encouraging. Thanks to your expertise and real experience, I think that everyone learned new skills as we parent our adolescents.
-N.H.C., Hopkins School

I’d like to tell you how much we enjoyed your presentation at Amity High School. Your enthusiastic audience of parents, educators and other caregivers was totally engaged throughout and found the program very valuable. Your book was certainly an added bonus. Our supply ran out before the program was over and we had to order additional copies.
-C.J.F., B.O.W., Parenting Initiative

Thank you so much for the wonderful evening. We truly benefited form your ‘words of wisdom’ and were inspired to go home and try them out.
-L.B., Hadassah

Thank you so much for a wonderful presentation. I have heard so many positive comments from the parents who attended. I also liked your common-sense, choose-your-battles type of approach to raising adolescents.
-Y.S., Coleytown Middle School

I cannot tell you how many times during this past year I have reflected on your comments and observations. I am impressed with the impact your advice and wisdom had on our parent group as well as the middle and upper school girls.
-L.S., Hockaday School

Bio

Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, author, consultant, and lecturer who specializes in the issues of women and girls, parenting adolescents, depression and self-destructive behavior, and learning disorders. Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s first book (with co-author Michelle Silver) I’M NOT MAD, I JUST HATE YOU: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict (Viking Books) was a national best-seller and has also been published in England, New Zealand, Australia, China, and Japan. She is also author of the recently released TRUST ME, MOM-EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING: The New Rules for Mothering Adolescent Girls (Viking Books) and has written numerous scholarly articles in professional journals and has contributed chapters to books on parenting.

Her numerous television and radio appearances include Oprah, Good Morning America, Montel, CBS News, and NPR. She is frequently interviewed for newspapers and popular magazines, such as Seventeen, The Boston Globe, The Chicago Tribune, and Newsday. Her work has appeared in many national publications, including Girl’s Life magazine and the Daughters newsletter.

Dr. Cohen-Sandler has been an invited guest lecturer, panel moderator, and workshop presenter for private and public schools, universities, and community organization across the country including Harvard Medical School, Duke University Health Centers, Northwestern University, The Hockaday School, Baldwin School, and the Berkeley Carroll School.

She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the Connecticut Psychological Association (CPA), the American Association of Suicidology (AAS), and the APA’s Speaker’s Bureau. The mother of two teenagers, she lives in Weston, Connecticut.



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